


something to see

by fourthdimnsion (orphan_account)



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Death, Character Study, Other, hes an asshole, it might be i think, it's about gabriel and only gabriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:55:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23886301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/fourthdimnsion
Summary: Gabriel refused many things. One of them was to see Aziraphale alive.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	something to see

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT (because i rushed editing this): so this one was meant to be a character study but i guess it didn't worked out much well. anyway, this one was created after watching the second episode of "the midnight gospel" and i thought about gabriel thinking of hell as an equal to death but it wasn't much performed well, but anyway
> 
> enjoy it

“I, too, would be pleased if I had an answer,” Gabriel nonchalantly said while looking at the grass. 

He was on the park, sitting under the tree because he would be safe from people staring at him as he talks to nobody but the air. Well, considering nowadays’ technologies, it wasn’t much to complain or stare at all. But him, the archangel, wasn’t much invested in this; he was never invested in humanity or their pleasures neither their repulse for the unknown. 

Still, he didn’t got an answer. He believed that it might be too loud for Her to listen to him, but it was unfair since his mind was already a mess when he heard the rumours and then confirmed all of it with his older brother, Michael. Hundred of years being devoted to Her to end up like this made him question his own value and purpose, and why he was even born. 

Well, people often says that beings have their own expiration date — but _celestial_ beings, at the archangel’s perspective, never had as they exist since Earth’s birth and keep doing it so until they can. At least, that’s his belief before knowing that he — not that he actually failed, contrariwise, he achieved his goals or whatever She planned for him — was going to be transferred from Heaven to Hell. Day by day his back began to ache, and everyday he feared this moment.

His subordinates ask him oftenly about what’s wrong or if he’s okay, and mostly he answers with a perfectly ‘I am fine’, but deep down he’s terrified. Frequently he wonders as his answer never appears. It floats like clouds on a beautiful day with a glorified sunshine and kids laughing. 

He despises kids. And so he despises Hell. And so he’s scared of something that came so close to him that he was afraid to come nearby or deal with it face-to-face, because everytime he think of it, he believed that things won’t be the same. _It wasn’t since long_. And he wouldn’t feel himself as the same way he was feeling before. Ignorance might be a blessing as much as a curse, and Gabriel was wondering if he was granted with both of them. 

The archangel looked at the sky. Wondering, wondering, wondering… Waiting to become the sun in the midst of a starry sky as he falls into the destiny he called for. 

The same archangel had golden blood in his hands months ago.

Bookshelves were destroyed and unorganized. Aziraphale would freak out if he saw what Gabriel had done if his mouth could say something, his eyes were open and his heartbeat still made his body tremble. 

The principality’s corpse was losing its heat. Slowly, the red on his cheeks was fading as if winter came in without any grace. In his arms, Aziraphale didn’t say anything, neither a proper goodbye as a last vow. Gabriel was too coward to hear what he’d say, scared of it echoing in his head as a punishment to be taken for centuries. He was afraid to listen to a mockery — because it seemed clear: if Aziraphale dies, he would die letting his superior knew that he was the worst employee God ever created — or something that would hurt his pride. Nothing would be worse than killing someone that, even after death, was right and morally superior than him. It was similar as embing his failure. 

When Gabriel finally let Aziraphale fall, he made sure to keep his posture. He was above him. The archangel was over this principality. This archangel carried a stupid weapon such as a knife and used it to be better than someone else, but all he did was just a prove to God that he was just as bad as any demon was, and his level wasn’t to compare with any else. And all he did was to reach the rawest of his existence. 

He got up, his legs trembling, weak. Being someone he wasn’t at the same time he really is was tiring. It drained his energies and he felt as if he couldn’t even fly. Desencorporating would make it worse; Gabriel feared that he wouldn’t make it to his physic again, the same time he’d be grateful if he wasn’t. _But what the fuck was this?_ His body tingles, cold in the skin and in his chest. He was unsure of how long the adrenaline flowing in would take to disappear, but as long as it’s there, he would absorb it to the max. It felt good. It felt as if his ambitions were clear and it was bigger than the morals established in Heaven. Gabriel sure did felt dirt, but it was clean. Just not what an archangel would get in, but it was clean. Simple, lightly. A weight vanished from his body and he blinked, seeing now what was his reason to exist. What it could be — a little glimpse of what it could be. 

He didn’t know what he would do with the corpse.

He just left the place in his actual state: messed up, dirty with blood, shaken but not stirred. Gabriel’s eyes never shined with such strength as now. It was bright as when he saw hellfire consuming Aziraphale’s body, but nothing happened in the next moment. 

Things followed still as now. Except when a certain demon came to the bookshop in the next day. 

  
  


Before that day, before everything else, Gabriel saw something brighter than the sun shining in front of him. Angels burn like stars or suns when they fall? Maybe both, considering its perspective. Or, they don’t die at all, they just live more intensely as seen before. Aziraphale didn’t die, if it’s the real question. Aziraphale didn’t even flinch or sweated, only opened his mouth to split fire instead of mercy; and Gabriel, Sandalphon and Uriel were almost caught in his joke. Or it was just pure outrage, but Aziraphale was coward enough to do so. 

Yet, he did it when he got out alive. When his eyes shined in a devilish joy, Gabriel saw them with his own angelical ones, whose teared up day after day in fear of doing something wrong… Something he couldn’t reach because that _stupid_ principality messed up everything that was meant to happen. Everything that escalated by its own circumstances as they modelated it to occur in the right way, in the way that would fulfill their questions about their existence and would allow them to live peacefully with their greatness. Or, even, make it worse.

After all, it was their future. It was something already planned. It was their destiny, their purpose. Their will to be. Entirely destroyed for nothing but humanity that only bruised them for nothing but a distorted perspective of love. 

His pride suffocated him. His self-love stuck his throat. It was a rope full of thorns and he was hurting himself in the process. The archangel wanted to suffocate him for a moment, because in the other, he tried to cease his anger and hide it. Heaven wasn’t the proper place to experience these feelings, but it was impossible to not to feel them. 

Gabriel wasn’t much different from what he hated. In the very end, he wanted to make it end by his own hands since the Almighty didn’t do what was the right to do. 

If She didn’t do it… He would, then. 

  
  


And so he did it. 

And his face and everything else burned when he became a star in the midst of many he created, crossing the sky in two with a large yet thick white line. He was screaming, but he was screaming with anger, because he had to do something and when he did it, he was punished. Gabriel wasn’t ready. He didn’t prepare himself for the moment to come since… Since the rumours and everything said earlier repeated on his mind. 

He couldn’t move. He couldn’t do anything but see how living above the clouds was affecting his mind. Gabriel had a successful transference as he fell and didn’t get a proper answer. Neither, a regret. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading <3


End file.
